The Measure of Love
by TheColorYaoi
Summary: In part one, it's fall and Takano wants to take Onodera on a date! And in part two, it's Takano-san's birthday! (I'm lousy at summaries... XD)
1. Part One- The Date!

I drudgingly stepped out of the shower, dried myself with a towel and wrapped it around my waist. I made my way to my bedroom and picked out the first shirt and pants I found. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed.

Today I had a date with Takano-san.

I tried to think back- how did this even happen?

_It was the day before, after work. Takano wasn't on the train with me for an odd reason. Around 12 he had left for a meeting with an author and never came back. I just assumed the author lived far away or something, so I didn't expect him to be home that night. "_At least tonight will be peaceful," _I thought. Most of my authors' manuscripts were sent off to the printers, so I didn't have to be in work for the next few days myself. Maybe Takano's author was in Africa or something. That would really make my day._

_I got off the train, walked the rest of the way back home, and I was surprised to see a bouquet of flowers lying in front of my doorstep. "_Whoever could these be from?" _I thought sarcastically. There was only one person on this planet dumb enough to leave me flowers out of the blue and, unfortunately, he wasn't in Africa. _

_I picked them up, unlocked my door, walked in, put down my stuff and examined the flowers. They were a mix of Asters, bright shades of pink, blue, and white. Looking through them I found a little white notecard. I picked it up; it read "_Come over for dinner whenever you get home" _with a heart next to it. I flipped it over and discovered more words, "_You will come as a professional courtesy. Come over or I'll fire you". _Yup, it was definitely Takano. Wanting to get this over with, I abandoned my humble apartment and knocked on Takano's door. _

_When he opened the door he greeted me pleasantly with a smile, "Hello, Onodera." _

_He walked me in and I said "As a 'professional courtesy' this better be about work, is it?" _

"_More or less...". He answered in a tone that didn't conceal his lie. _

_On the little dining table were a few cans of alcohol and a mini lemon cake. He pulled a chair out for me and sat opposite of me. _

"_I thought I was coming over for dinner?" I said._

"_Does this not look like dinner to you?" _

"_No." _

"_Then I apologize for not meeting your expectations." I opened a can- I was going to need it._

_After one sip he began to speak again. "Onodera, I asked you over because I wanted to ask you something." He took the hand that was on my drink and held it. His expression was deep and serious, yet loving. _

"_And what would that be?" I answered _

_I was a little nervous as to what he was about to say. He wasn't going to ask something stupid like marriage, was he? He said, "I wanted to ask you on a date."_

_I was surprised, of course. Did he just ask me on a date? He doesn't even ask before throwing me on his bed and kissing down my neck! I blushed at both his question and the scene that just played through my head. _

"_A date?" I said._

"_Yes, a date." He said with a smile. He didn't look serious, but not as if he was just teasing either. I wasn't sure how to respond. Was I just supposed to say yes? What exactly did he expect me to say? _Why _was he asking?_

_Being a little unsure and confused I cast my gaze to the side and said "Uhm… sure, I guess." _

_He smiled just a bit more wide. He chuckled and said "You're adorable, Ritsu." He came to my side of the table and wrapped me in a warm hug. I shyly hugged him back and he kissed my forehead. "I'll pick you up tomorrow around noon, okay?" _

_With that, I realized two things. One, he wasn't trying to seduce me. Two, I felt this feeling that I was almost sure was mutual. The date, his warm face, the innocent hug- I felt like we were teenagers again._

And that was how I got into this mess. Maybe I should have been more excited. But I just couldn't shake off the question- _why _did he ask? I sure did appreciate it, but I was also suspicious. Not that anything really bad could come out of a date, right?

I kind of felt bad that I was making him actually asking me something for once sound like a bad thing. Isn't that what couples are supposed to do? _Not _that me and Takano are a couple, because we definitely _aren't, _but still, I could at least admit it was better than him forcing me on a date.

I heard a knock on the door. It was time for my dreadful day to begin.

I trudged my way to the door and opened it, revealing a smiling Takano-san. "Hello, Onodera. Are you ready?"

"Yeah." _As ready as I'll ever be. _

We made our way to his car in the parking lot. I took notice of him holding doors open for me and such.

When Takano was out of the parking lot he took my right hand and intertwined our fingers. The ride to wherever we were going was silent. There wasn't any kind of tension between us, it was just neither of us had anything to say.

I didn't ask any questions about where we were going or what we were doing to avoid any arguments. I just wanted to get through our "date" as fast as possible.

He drove to a local park about 10 minutes from the house. I had been here before for a meeting with an author. She had writers block so I accompanied her here for inspiration.

Since it was fall, the cherry blossom trees were bare and there were orange and burgundy leaves scattered across the grass. In the center of the park was a large pond. The water was a light olive green, a little foggy but you could still see through it. A little off to one side of the pond was a red wooden bridge with short railings to match that spread from each side of it. I could see why this would be a suitable environment for shoujo manga inspiration.

I could also see why this would be a suitable environment for a romantic date.

Takano parked in front of the pond. There was hardly anyone here, as far as I could see. He looked at me and nudged my hand a little. "I have bentos for us in the back, but I thought that we could walk around a little first. Is that okay with you?"

I blushed at the idea- a walk in the park and bento lunch by a pond? It was such an innocent date... or maybe it was just a normal date that seemed extremely simple with the history Takano-san and I had. "Sure, that sounds fine." I looked at him properly (or at least I tried), trying not to be embarrassed or anything as I usually am. It was only fair. As annoying as this "date" was, he _was _being rather pleasant today, and it'd be pretty rude for me to push him away without even giving him a chance.

He got up and made his way around the car to open the door for me.

Am I supposed to say "thank you" or close the door or smile or something!? I was starting to get nervous. I always get nervous around Takano-san but this time is different because he's actually being really sweet and kind and I'd hate to be the one to screw up the date. I wondered if he felt this way also… but as if I could ask him!

He took my hand again and we started walking through the trails of the park. It looked brighter during the spring, but the atmosphere given off by the scenery of the park now wasn't exactly dark either, just more calm. Should I huddle next to Takano, or keep my distance? How far is too distant? Does he think I'm not enjoying this?

Takano snapped me out of my thoughts. "I prefer fall over spring. Spring may be warm and bright, but the shades of the leaves in fall make the area more soothing. Don't you think so, Onodera?"

I contradicted him, wanting to make conversation to hopefully ease me at least a little. "But the cold and sweaters and coats are such a pain. The air feels so fresh during spring, and the sky seems to have a bright glow to it. It's more appropriate to go outside in the spring rather than the fall."

"Fall isn't _all _that cold. Just a slight chill that you forget about if you're having a conversation with someone. In my opinion, fall is the most romantic season."

I gave him a dumb look, "I know you're kidding," I said. He looked at me confused, as if _I _was the one who wasn't making sense.

I said, "You're the best manga editor in the office, the best _shoujo _manga editor in the office, and you think fall is the most romantic season?"

"Well then, what would you think is the most romantic season?"

"It's obviously spring!"

"Spring is overrated. What's so special about spring anyways?"

"The sakura trees, of course!"

"And what's so special about cherry blossoms?"

"You can't put a large, fragile, orange leaf with holes in it in someone's hair!"

He chuckled a little before reaching behind him, and facing back at me he stuffed a leaf from the ground into my hair. "What do you think-!" He interrupted me with a kiss.

When he let go he was smirking, "See, that was romantic, wasn't it?"

I was blushing a lot- we were in public! Before I let myself get too hot-headed, I tried to take a subtle breathe. I removed the leaf from my hair, but I knew there were still fragments of it left behind. Takano helped me get it out, while smiling with amusement, but he was still trying to be lovable about it. "There, it's all off."

"Y-you know we're in public…" I started feeling more nervous with the romantic tension that started to build up with the kiss.

I was expecting an answer like 'I don't mind if anyone sees us' but instead he said "You're right, I'm sorry." I looked up at him with shock. First he takes me on a real date, and now he's apologizing for things he normally does anyways? Was this even Takano!?

"Can I.. uh… ask you something?" I said suddenly. Oi, what do you think you're doing! The date is fine, don't make him get all fraught over you!

He started to look concerned, "What is it? Is everything ok?"

Crap, now he's worried about me! What if he breaks off the date and takes us home because he thinks I'm uncomfortable!? I kind of am uncomfortable, but I don't want him to notice it! Regretting that I asked, I said "No, never mind, it's not important, really!"

Of course, he wasn't buying my excuse. "Are you sure you're ok Onodera?"

"Yes!" I tried to relax and gave him a slight smile that I hoped didn't look too fake, "I'm fine really."

Apparently, he decided to let it go as he said with a smile, "Ok, if you say so. It might rain soon so we should hurry and get back to the car so we can eat our lunch by the pond." And with that we continued our date.

Why did you have to go and do something stupid, Onodera! Now he's going to be all worried throughout the rest of the date! I internally scolded myself for saying what I said. Takano might not bring it up through the rest of today, but I knew he'd ask about it again sooner or later.

We finished the rest of the trail leading to the car non-too quickly. The bentos he had made were simple, just some rice and fish, though it was really good. I didn't exactly eat that morning but I didn't realize how hungry I was until I was scarfing down my bento.

Apparently Takano had noticed too. "Hungry?" he asked.

I blushed, a little embarrassed but answered with "Kind of… It's really good."

"Well, thank you, Onodera." He paused for a moment, trying to think of something to say. "You know, I never mind cooking for you. I think you like my food, and I'd be more than happy to cook dinner for you after work if you're ever tired."

"I'm pretty sure you're tired after work on the same days I am, but if you'd really like to bear that burden-"

He interrupted me, "It's never a burden for me when I get to please you."

He had built up that awkward tension again with that line he said. I say 'awkward' because I just never know what to say or how to answer when he says stuff that makes my heart flutter and my cheeks turn slightly pink. It's gotten to a point that I don't even notice when I look at the ground and hold my breath for a little longer than necessary.

However, Takano definitely notices every time this happens, but this time he responded with a different approach. He came closer in front of me and held my hand, yet another shocking action from him today.

I let out my breath, and for a moment looked at our hands that were interlaced together. Then I looked up at Takano. He was smiling at me. A warm, loving, passionate smile. The passion must have radiated from him and sprinkled onto me, as I found myself smiling the same.

At that, he hugged me tight and close, nuzzling his face in my hair. I did the same, digging my head in his shoulder. He kissed at the side of my head, behind my ear, my cheek, inching towards my lips ever so slowly, but I was the one who finally brought them together.

Throwing my pride aside, I had so much to say to him that hadn't been said due to my illusion that our relationship would grow if I stayed in my box and kept my feelings in there as well, but the truth was that would only bring us apart, especially if Takano lost his strength and gave up on trying to save the relationship that existed between us so long ago. I wished this kiss would get all these thoughts racing around in my mind to finally finish in Takano-san's. I wished this kiss would erase all the doubt, ultimately erasing all the frustration, and then I could be happy with Takano-san. I wanted all the dreams I have of me and Takano, at night when I'm really tired and can't sleep and just don't care, to come true; the dreams of us living together and running away from our families and the rest of the world, only having to rely on each other, not worrying about how we feel about each other because we show our love every day.

I wrapped both my arms around his neck, and did my best to match all the feelings I was hiding from Takano with the passion I exuded in my kiss to him.

I got so lost in the overwhelming heat between us that I didn't notice Takano-san taking over and lying us down gently on the blanket under us. He put his hand between the back of my head and the grass beneath it. We lied there for a moment, embracing each other, not only with our hands but also with our lips.

When our kiss broke at last, I realized I was a little out of breath and slightly panted for air. For a moment Takano stared at me, still smiling. "It's different showing your love in a kiss, isn't it?"

I nodded my head. It definitely _was _different.

I've tried showing my love in hugging him back or not complaining too much when we're together, but the kiss we just had was way different. Have I ever given a kiss to Takano-san? Even if I have, whatever happened just now was a first for me, at least. I wasn't even sure what _did_ happen.

Takano started to speak. "What you just felt when you kissed me, that's how I feel when I make love to you. I love you so much I can't express it in one kiss or three words, because actions speak a whole lot louder than words.

"And I know you love me more than you just told me in your kiss. It's ok if you don't want to tell me now, it's ok to wait a day or a month or a year, because I'll be waiting with you."

I wasn't sure how to respond to probably the most reassuring thing Takano has ever said to me. The one thing I worry about the most is Takano leaving me, and I was worrying about that today too, and he just told me he'd wait for me! I just stared into his gold-shaded eyes, not really sure what expression I was making (probably a mix of shock and desire), but I hoped it wasn't too negative.

He smiled, realizing my loss of words, and leaned back down for another kiss. Just after our lips connected I felt a drop of water hit my forehead. If Takano had felt water too, he either didn't notice or care because he showed no sign of backing off.

One drop turned into two, and five, and ten and before either of us realized it was pouring rain. Regaining composure, I pushed him of lightly and refusing to get up he said "And _I'm _the one who doesn't know about romance."

I irritatingly replied with "Takano-san, it's pouring, and it's already cold! We're going to get sick!"

He sighed and pushed himself up, then pulled me up.

We picked up the eaten bento boxes and blanket, and ran to the car that was all the way on the other side of the pond since it was Takano-san's bright idea to sit where we were.

Once in the car, we threw the trash and wet blanket in the back seat. I was soaked and was about to apologize for getting his seat wet before I realized he was soaked as well.

Takano-san turned on the car, and the heaters and seat warmers turned on with it.

And then I heard him start to laugh.

It wasn't just a chuckle either, he was laughing a lot more than I thought was possible for such a composed guy like him. It wasn't exactly cute, but kind of close, so I tried to hide the huge grin spreading on my face.

When he stopped, he exhaled and I asked "Is something funny?" a little jokingly.

With a smile he said "This date was such a dumb idea. We walked around the park, ate lunch on a pond and then it rained on us!" He took a deep breath and said "It's all just so cliché…"

He tried to hide it, but I could tell he was kind of getting down on himself for it.

"Well… I didn't mind…" I said, blushing "I thought it was kind of, uhm, sweet that you asked me on a date, instead of, like, forcing me or something…" I was looking away and I think Takano-san was too.

"I just wish I could have thought of something more original, but I wasn't sure how a library date would work so I chose this as a last resort." Then he looked at me, smiling, "But if you didn't mind then I guess all's well, right?"

I tried to look at him, but looked back down as I dared to ask the question that's been on my mind since he asked me out on this date…

"Uhm, well, about the date… w-why exactly did you ask me?" From what I could tell, he was a little confused or maybe shocked at what I said. "Well, it's just…" I paused, trying to think of the best way to phrase this. I looked up at him and a little too loudly and quickly I said, "Aren't we past the dating stage by now!?"

This time he was still shocked but his mouth turned into a (rather intimidating) grin, "So we're past the dating stage?"

I looked down blushing madly from embarrassment, "Well, given our history, I would think so!"

"Well, if that's the case, should I be asking for your hand in marriage, then?"

"NO! THAT'S NOT THE POINT HERE!" I was blushing even wilder now and Takano-san found it amusing.

Seeing me irritated, he leaned close and kissed my lips briefly, and then he said "I know our relationship is beyond what it used to be, or at least I hope it is, but you're still so distant from me Ritsu." He held my hand down on my lap, "I just wanted to get you out of your box."

Takano said that with nothing but care in his eyes, but I felt guilty. I felt like I was the faulty partner in a relationship I wasn't even sure I really wanted. My gaze remained cast aside from Takano, and seeing I wasn't intending on replying, he drove back to the apartment building, not letting go of my hand.

* * *

The drive back was the same as before, silent but not a bad silent. It had also stopped raining. That didn't change the fact that both me and Takano were both soaking wet, though.

I threw away the trash in a garbage can near the door and Takano lugged the wet blanket into the elevator. I offered to throw it in the washer for him but he said he'd take care of it later.

When we reached Takano's door, he started to unlock the door. I didn't know whether it was a good idea to invite myself in, I didn't even know if I wanted to spend more time with him or not, but I decided to say "Well, I should go take a shower before I catch a cold or something so-"

He grabbed my hand and tugged a little. I looked up at him, his face was totally serious. "Why don't we take a bath together?" he said.

Immediately I blushed from embarrassment, and out of habit said "W-what!? No! I can take a bath on my own!"

"You don't have to hide your feelings Ritsu."

He still looked serious, and I wasn't quite sure what he meant when he said that, but I just looked to the side and said "Ok."

He smiled at me, and then we walked in our apartment, took off our coats, put our stuff down on a coffee table and he pulled me into the bathroom. He turned on the water to fill up the bathtub, and giving me a kiss he said "Just wait for a second."

He left and returned with a few candles and a lighter. He spread the candles out around the tub, lit them, and dimmed the lights. He held both my hands, giving me another kiss and said with a smirk "Too tacky?".

Instead of answering I removed my hands from his and started to take off my shirt. He interrupted me by pushing my hands away and taking it off for me. He then started to nibble at my neck a little, and then looked back at me, smirking, and said "Now it's your turn."

I blushed when I realized what he meant. Slowly, I unbuttoned Takano's shirt with my shaking hands. I tried not to look at him, but he wouldn't break eye contact with me.

My embarrassment faded away a little as I slipped off his shirt, revealing his toned chest. Damn this guy, why does he have to be so sexy!?

My face got red as I stared with lust, but I snapped out of my little daze with a gasp as I felt Takano start to pull down my pants. He relaxed me with a kiss, and once my pants were off Takano started to nibble on my collar bone and I removed his pants as well, and then were both naked.

After giving me another kiss, he held my hand and pulled me over to the bathtub. He turned off the faucet, sat down in the water with his legs out and his back leaning against the back of the tub, and pulled me in with him so my back was against his chest.

Once we were settled, we held hands and just relaxed. It really was soothing sitting in the warm bath with Takano-san. Our body heat combined made me even warmer, but it felt good.

Suddenly I felt very tired. I leaned my head back into his chest and closed my eyes. Takano-san kissed my forehead and said "I love you, Onodera."

And that was our romantic date together.


	2. Part Two- Christmas Eve!

Now it's over a month later. December 23. Tomorrow is Takano-san's birthday. And I have yet to buy him a present.

To be honest, I've kind of been procrastinating on buying him a present. Half of me is saying 'Why do I need to buy him a present anyways!?', but I also feel like I owe him for taking me on that date before, that, by the way, turned out for the best for both of us. Takano didn't even try to do anything with me that night! We've 'done it' since then, but even then he was gentle about it.

I've been thinking about getting him something he actually needs, but I can't really tell since we don't talk about personal stuff much. So then I just thought about a present a man might just give another man at random, but I want to give him something more sentimental than lottery tickets. So then I thought about sentimental gifts, but sentimental gifts are also expensive gifts, and I can't really afford to buy anything expensive for anyone right now.

Today is a Saturday and I don't have work, so I decided to sneak out of my apartment (so Takano wouldn't see me) and head to the outlets to hopefully find something decent to give to Takano. I took the subway to the outlets and started looking around at stores.

Most of them were clothing stores, and clothes were out of the option because I'm not exactly an expert on Takano's taste in clothes (even if I do see him pretty much every day), and not all stores make their sizes the same as everyone else so it's really just a pain. I found an actual gift store, so I started looking around in there. There were coffee cups with initials on them, calendars, puzzles, decks of cards, writing utensils, cards, candles… nothing that quite piqued my interest. Although, the candles gave me an idea for a birthday dinner for him, and at that moment it was the only idea I had. On the way home I bought penne noodles, tomato sauce, beef, and a few other things to sprinkle in there.

For some reason, it was weird, but I was excited to do something that I knew would make Takano happy. I could only hope that nothing would go wrong, or that he didn't already have plans with someone else.

* * *

The next morning I stayed in bed thinking about what tonight would be like. Maybe it would go completely right and I would finally conjure up enough courage to tell Takano how I really feel. Maybe it would go completely wrong and Takano would storm out of my apartment thinking there really was no hope for us. Thinking about these scenarios made me both excited and anxious, so I decided to get up and make myself some coffee.

I threw the dirty clothes off my couch, and as I did that I suddenly realized that I would have to clean up some if I wanted to have any company over. I took twenty minutes to relax and sip on my coffee, and then I got up and started working on my pile (more like a mountain) of dirty dishes. I cleaned up the rest of the kitchen and picked up all the clothes from the floor, putting away the clean ones and throwing the dirty ones in a laundry basket. I took all the dirty clothes downstairs to wash, and managed to do that and come back up before I caught Takano. Maybe he's working? Wait, that would really suck because if he had to go to work on a Sunday then there would be a good chance he would get home really late…

I ignored the thought and began to vacuum the small apartment. I made my bed (if Takano's going to do that kind of stuff to me, I'm not going to also have him thinking I'm a pig), and finally started setting up the table. I threw away all the junk mail that was on it, wiped off the dust (it's been a while since I've had a proper meal at this table), laid out two large, white plates (that I made sure were extra clean), and wrapped the silverware in linen napkins. I also made sure to leave a spot in the middle for the pasta.

By the time I was done it was already two o' clock, so I threw the clothes downstairs in the dryer (thankfully being able to avoid Takano again). When I got up to my apartment I decided to send him a text to let him know about the dinner- _I'm planning to cook myself dinner tonight. You can come over in a few hours if you'd like, otherwise please ignore this._ It was kind of amazing how I had the gull to make Takano a birthday dinner but not even tell him about it.

I decided to start on the pasta sauce, so I threw in the tomato sauce and let it get to a boil. I couldn't get myself to stop thinking about things that could go wrong. What if he already has plans with someone else? What if he thinks my cooking is bad? What if I burn the pasta? What if he doesn't like pasta at all!?

Trying to ease my mind off of it, I take out the bottle of champagne I was planning to use for tonight. "Just a little drink to loosen me up a little…"

.

.

.

I finish the pasta, put it in a bowl and set it on the table while simultaneously managing to drink the rest of the bottle of champagne. Nevertheless, being "as loose as a goose", I feel ready to face Takano.

He came around six o' clock. When he rang the bell I stumbled to the door and opened it to reveal Takano-san holding a bottle of wine. "Hello Takano-san," I say boldly. "Ooh, what's this you got here?" I say, pointing to the wine. As I try to grab it, Takano pulls the bottle away and pushes me back with a grin on his face, "Uh, Onodera, are you ok?"

"I'm fine, how about you?" I say casually, inviting him in.

He enters my apartment and takes off his shoes. We walk into the kitchen, him setting the bottle of wine on a table behind him. He laughs a little bit, "Onodera, I think you're drunk."

"Drunk? Me!?" I laugh a little bit as well, "Yeah, I've been drinking a little bit today. Only because I've been so tense about this dinner all day… Oh, which reminds me! Happy Birthday!" I say, wrapping my arms around his waist, smiling.

He pats my head, smiling, and says, "I wonder if I should put you to bed or not…"

"No!" I say, shooting my head up, "I spent all day cleaning and cooking and waiting for you to come over, and I know I've kind of messed it up already, but it really would mean a lot to me if we at least ate dinner together…" I plead him with my eyes looking straight into his, an act I'd never have enough courage to do sober.

He smiles at me and strokes my cheek with his hand, "Well if it means that much to you, I guess I can't say no. But you're drinking water."

He pulls out a seat for me and gets me a glass of water from the tap, and pours himself a glass of wine. We both serve ourselves pasta and start eating. I watch Takano take his first bite and he didn't cringe or anything, which was very relieving. "How is it?" I ask.

"Delicious, Ritsu." He answers with a smile. "Where did you get the recipe?"

"Well, it's actually a recipe from our maid we had when I was young. She taught me how to make this, and I'm pretty surprised I remembered how to make it. I haven't made this dish in well over a year."

"I've never had pasta, actually. I've heard about it, but was never interested enough to go out and try it. I'm glad I get to have it for my first time here with you."

I look down at my food, trying to hide my blush and smile. In this state, it was pretty hard for me to hide how vulnerable I get when he does sweet things for me. It made me very happy that all my effort hadn't gone to waste.

"So you had a maid when you were younger?" Takano started to ask. "You really were that rich, huh?"

I chuckle a little. "Yeah, I guess I was 'that rich'. Being that my parents were often busy with their social and work lives, she was the one who taught me how to clean and cook and helped me with my homework, all that stuff. She moved away when I was 11 because she met a guy she really liked and wanted to move in with him. We even went to her wedding a few years later!"

"Ah, that must have been really nice. I've never been to a wedding."

"What? Are you kidding!?"

"Nope. My parents were very distant with their relatives and didn't bother taking me to their friends' weddings. And up to now I don't have many friends either, so I've never been to a wedding."

"I love going to weddings! The last one I went to was about 5 years ago for my uncle. We all went to this small island with beautiful forests, and the wedding reception was inside this huge ballroom in a gorgeous hotel, and all night An-chan couldn't stop talking about how we'd have to make our wedding ten times grander than his. I suggested that we could rent a huge cruise ship, get married in the middle of the ocean, and have the reception in China!" I then started laughing a little harder then I should have, failing to notice the disappointed expression starting to appear on Takano's face.

Instead of saying anything he simply washed the disappointment away and changed the subject, "So what spices did you put in here?"

* * *

When we both finished I picked up both of our plates and brought them to the kitchen, but before I made it to the sink I accidently dropped them and broke them. "Shit!" I yell. Takano walked over and was about to ask me what happened, but just smirked when he saw the broken plates on the floor. "Go get your broom, Onodera." I got the broom and brought it to Takano, and he started to sweep the fragments into the dustpan.

Suddenly I remember something, "Shit I forgot my clothes downstairs! I'll be back Takano, I just need to-"He grabbed my arm, but not forcefully, just enough to get me to stop and look back at him. "I'll take care of your clothes, just go lie down for now, ok?" I listened and walked to my room, changing into pajamas and crawling into my bed.

I started to dwell on how badly I messed up Takano's birthday dinner. Picking up broken plates and doing my laundry is probably the last thing he wants to be doing on his birthday. He could be celebrating at a bar with all his other friends, but instead he settled for a lousy dinner with me.

The more I thought about it, the more I started to hate myself for it. Tears started running down my face, and I let myself cry for a little bit until I heard Takano in the doorway. I duck my head into a pillow, afraid he would come in here to check on me.

He does come in the room with the laundry basket and a glass of water and starts talking, "I folded all your clothes in here. I can put them away for you, although I'm not exactly sure-"He pauses when he sees me crying, "Onodera, are you ok?" He puts down the laundry basket and sits down on the bed next to me. He stokes my cheek that's exposed and says "Onodera, tell me what's wrong."

I still felt a little more bold than usual, so I said "Inviting you here was a mistake. I completely ruined your birthday dinner that I put so much effort into… If you'd rather be with someone else right now, then just go ahead. You don't have to stay just to be nice."

He sighs and says "Onodera, there's nowhere else I'd rather be than here with you. I'm really happy you invited me over today. So you got a little drunk… It's the thought that counts." He smiles at me and continues, "I don't want to say much else because you probably won't remember anything in the morning anyways. Here, drink some water and your hangover won't be as bad."

I sit up and drink about half of the glass of water, and then I suddenly get really tired and lay back down on the bed. The last thing I feel before I fall asleep is Takano's lips against my cheek.


	3. Chapter Three- Christmas!

The first thing I feel in the morning is my headache. I cover my head with a pillow, as if it would help but, of course, it didn't. I start to get up so I can brush my teeth and wash my face, but stop when I feel Takano's hand grab my wrist, "Where are you going?"

"Oh, um, I was just going to get some ibuprofen for my headache…" I am suddenly shocked when I realize the reality of the situation, "W-what are you doing in here!? Get out!" I yell pulling my hand away from him.

"Geez, already with the yelling so early in the morning…" he mumbles. "If I hadn't stayed the night someone would have stolen all your clothes and you'd probably would have passed out on the floor. If anything, I at least deserve a 'thank you'."

I sigh in defeat, not wanting to fight with him right now with my huge headache, "Alright, thank you…"

When I try to get up again Takano just pushes me down, "I'll get it, just lay down and rest."

I very happily oblige and almost fall right back to sleep, but Takano came back before I could. It wasn't until he came back that I realized he was only in his underwear. I swallowed the pills with the water he gave me and asked "D-did you sleep like that last night?"

"Yeah. I didn't think it was necessary to go over to my house and get clothes, since I sleep like this with you all the time. I didn't do anything to you, if that's what you're worried about."

I remember more about last night before I went to bed than when Takano first came over. I barely remember the dinner… but I remember when I broke the plates and went to my room and cried and Takano saw me and he didn't say much because "I probably wouldn't remember anyways".

"I can brew some coffee if you want, although that medicine might make you drowsy."

"No, I'd love some coffee, if it's not a bother to you."

He put on his pants that he found on the floor and went out to make the coffee. I went to the bathroom to pee and brush my teeth, and the clothes I was wearing smelled pretty bad so I changed into an old t-shirt and sweatpants.

I walked out sluggish and found a cup of coffee for me next to Takano and started to sip on it.

"I only put in a little bit of milk. That's how you like it, right?"

"Yeah, thank you…"

"Is the medicine working?"

"Not quite yet, but this coffee certainly is." I said, taking another sip.

Takano smirked, "You had one hell of a day yesterday, didn't you?"

I hesitated before answering, "I guess I did… I didn't mean to get drunk like that…"

"You said the reason was because you were nervous about me coming over for dinner."

"Yeah, I kind of was…" I said, starting to blush.

He put his hand on top of mine, "You don't need to get so nervous around me, Onodera. I am your lover, after all, or at least that's how I see our relationship."

I look down at my coffee, trying not to look back at Takano. I guess we did have a kind of "lover" relationship, even I could admit that to myself, but something still makes it uncomfortable for me to open up to Takano like he opens up to me. I just can't quite bring myself to step out of my box and into Takano's warm arms.

But I knew that if I kept thinking about that I would start cry so I quickly quaffed down some of my coffee to stop myself. I think Takano gave me a weird look but he just shrugged it off.

He took a sip of his coffee and then said "Hey, Onodera, I'm going to go to my apartment real quick to change and stuff. I'll be back in ten minutes." He walked over to my side of the table and gave me a quick kiss on my cheek, making me blush.

I finished my coffee while he was gone and washed the mug. He came back in fresh clothes, and it even smelled like he took a quick shower. As he walked closer to me I noticed a hand behind his back.

"Come here, Onodera. I want to show you something." He said with a warm smile. He offered his hand to me, and I accepted it hesitantly. He led me to the couch, not showing his back, and we both sat next to each other. He let go of my hand and pulled out a medium sized, rectangle-shaped present from his back. He looked at me with the same smile and said "Merry Christmas."

I hesitated a little bit before reaching out to grab it. I was too big to be any kind of jewelry, which was kind of a relief. I would feel somewhat bad if it was anything expensive. I took a deep breath and started to slowly tear open the present, careful not to make too much of a mess.

I opened it to reveal a back of a book. I flip it over and my eyes wander over the title in confusion, _A Tale of Two Cities_ by Charles Dickens.

"Do you like it?" I look up at him. His eyes were filled with so much emotion of love, it was a little overwhelming. "Y-yeah. I've always liked Charles Dickens, but I haven't gotten around to reading this book yet."

He chuckled a little, "You don't remember do you?"

"Remember what?" It was a little hard to keep his gaze, but I didn't want to look away from his beautiful face that was emitting so much love.

"Do you remember when we first met? Or, really, when we first confronted each other?"

Yes. I remember it clearly. I was in the library straining to get a book on the top shelf, and Takano reached it with ease and handed it to me. Now that I think about it, it seems so stupid that that's how I fell in love with him…

A book…

"This book…" I mumbled staring back at it in shock.

As I said, I never had gotten around to reading it. I had completely forgotten about it, my mind being filled with thoughts about Takano (or, Saga, at the time).

In my realization, Takano gave me a hug from beside me and gave me a warm kiss on my forehead. I relaxed in his warm arms, still holding on to the book.

He let go after a few moments and I looked up at him, "I'm sorry, I didn't get you anything."

"You gave me that delicious dinner last night."

"Well that was for your birthday, not really for Christmas…" I look down feeling guilty. He had given me such a sentimental gift and all I gave him was pasta.

He ruffled my hair a little, "Well it's not too late to get me a present."

I looked at him again in confusion, "Like what?"

He leaned over me, making me move back a little, and engulfed me in a warm kiss. Only lasting a few seconds, he pulled back only enough to look at me in the eyes, "I'd love to spend all of today in bed with you."

I blush at the suggestion and, instead of protesting, offer a logical answer, "W-well actually I have to spend today at my mom's house…"

He frowned a little at my answer, "I see…" He pulled back but smiled again "Well that sounds nice."

I groan a little, "Not really. She's been on my ass since I told her I was canceling the engagement."

Takano nodded a little bit in acknowledgement. I respond to his obvious disappointment with, "You know, I would invite you but-"

"Don't bother. As much as I'd love to introduce myself to your family one day, I'm not too sure right now is the right time."

I cock my eyebrow a little, "Introduce yourself as what, exactly?"

"As your lover, of course." He says smirking.

I blush madly, "W-well don't bother cause' you're not going to do that anyway!"

As I get up, holding the book in one hand, he gets up with me and loops his arms around my waist. He then kisses me warmly on the lips. I grip his shoulder softly with my hand that isn't holding the book. A small part of me wanted to push him away, a very small part that kept decreasing as the feeling of bliss given by his warm kiss permeated my body…

He let go and said "I'll leave so you can go be with your family." He gave me a kiss on the cheek and left my apartment.

Recovering from my pink blush and regaining composure, I left the book on the nightstand next to the couch, took a quick shower and changed into fresh clothes.

Now it was time to spend the day with less desirable people…


	4. Epilogue

I enter my apartment, lifeless besides the sleeping, greatly aged cat on my couch. Yokozawa brought him over a couple days ago since he was visiting him family for a couple days. Which reminds me... I should probably call him today and wish him a Merry Christmas.

I decide to push it off until later, grab a beer, and lay across the couch, pushing the cat out of the way with my feet. He decided to get up and slowly walk to my room. Geez… you would think such a small thing wouldn't require so much space.

I take a sip of my beer and lay my head down, closing my eyes. Ritsu and I got up pretty early this morning. I wanted to stay in until at least noon. I smile to myself at the thought. In reality he barely agrees to sleep with me at all! It would be so nice to stare into his peaceful, unconscious face for just a couple hours, while I stroke his hair and give him faint kisses on his forehead. It'd be much better than waking up to him screaming at me.

Oh Ritsu… it seems like he'll never open up enough to see how much I love him. Not just his body to use as some sex toy, but him. He doesn't truly understand how much I want to wake up with him pressed against my chest every morning, or be able to give him kisses whenever I want without him pushing me away, or spend the rest of my life with him. He doesn't understand that I've been impatient up to now because I'm tired of counting the seconds until he confesses his love to me. But he can deny it as long as he likes, I've waited this long to have my one true love back in my life, and there's no way in hell I'm giving up now.

And he has been opening up much more lately. I almost ran over to his house and kissed him to death when I got that text this morning. Although it did make me very discouraged to see that he was drunk by the time I did get there… I guess I should have ran over there when I had the chance. How much of the day today was he drunk, exactly? I'm not turning him into an alcoholic, am I? Maybe we had a rough night… but I think he was really touched by the gift I gave him. It didn't take me long to remember what book it was that I had helped him reach that day. I remember almost everything about Ritsu in high school. I guess I was a little obsessed with him even before he told me he was obsessed with me.

I drink some more and hear my phone buzzing on the table. I pick it up, looking at the screen displaying a text from Ritsu- _You left some of your clothes here._ _I'll return them before I leave in about ten minutes._

I smile at seeing Ritsu being concerned with returning my clothes. I wonder how much courage it took him to send that text. Then I frown, thinking about how I probably won't be able to see him until tomorrow.

I guess I've been impatient with that too… even if he does confess to me and we start living together as a married couple, I can't expect to be able to keep him within my eyesight all the time. As much as I just want to hold him right next to me forever, he has a life just as well as I do. Before I saw him at Marukawa, he had been living next to me for a whole year and I didn't even notice! And that was only because of our work schedules!

But I just wouldn't be able to handle it if one day he walked out of his apartment and abandoned me. I'd be completely lost and confused… he's been my entire world since high school. He's my motivation for getting out of bed and going to work every morning, just so I can see him. So I can see him safe and secure right next to me, not trying to leave. But as they say… what is a relationship without trust? I have to trust that he won't run away from me again, because if I don't then he definitely will.

"Meow." I look down at Sorata seeming perturbed at me for stealing his spot. I chuckle and scratch behind his ear, "Sorry Sorata, the only one allowed to share this couch with me is Ritsu."

I've kissed Ritsu a few times on this couch, haven't I? We've even done some dirty stuff on here too…

I look away from my cat, not really wanting to look at him when I think about doing dirty stuff with Ritsu. How I love the look of his closed eyes and his blushing face, his tousled hair against the pillows as I made sweet love to him. Just one hand on his bare chest was all it took for Ritsu to transform from my defiant, ignorant love to my vulnerable, powerless _lover_. It's just so sexy, it takes every drop of self-control I can possibly conjure up to keep me from fucking him into oblivion. Even then Ritsu says I'm rough, but I don't see him actually complaining about it, so I can just assume he enjoys it.

I've always wanted to ask him what exactly about me turns him on so much, but like he'd ever tell me that! Maybe one day I'll ask him in that vulnerable state… that's the only time he ever has enough courage to talk about his feelings for me. He still doesn't say he loves me, but he leaves me hints that give me hope that one day, hopefully sooner rather than later, he'll outright confess his love to me. I see it in the girl books I edit all the time, the inferior girl looks up her superior significant other and, despite her obvious embarrassment, shown through her blush and sweat drops, outright says "I love you." When I see it at work I daydream about the inferior one being Ritsu and the superior one being me, and sometimes other coworkers even end up noticing (but I've never told Ritsu… I'm keeping it a secret to tell on our future honeymoon).

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear knocking on my door. I get up, almost stepping on the cat that was in my way, and head to the door. Onodera is at the door with a plastic bag with my clothes in it. I could see that he was well practiced in cleaning himself up from a hungover mess. Looking down from me he hands over the bag "I would have washed them if I had the chance but I kind of have to hurry so... here…" he seems confused for a moment, and tries to leave without so much as a 'goodbye'. Like I'll have that, I thought. I drop the bag on the floor and pull him back into a tight hug. I cup the back of his head and gently press it against my chest, leaning down a little so I can inhale his fresh scent. I can see him embarrassed, balling up his hands and blushing like crazy. How cute, I thought with a smile.

"Oi… I really have to go or I'll miss the train…". He pushes back a little and I take the chance to give him a non-to-rough kiss. He doesn't really resist, and I could even hear a faint sound of him moaning. I pull back and ask "A little drowsy, huh?"

He still doesn't look at me "Y-yeah… and also kind of tired."

"Alright, I'll let you go then." Doing the exact opposite, I cup his chin and bring my face closer to him, smiling, "I'll miss you."

He blushes more and I let him go. "O-okay… bye…" He hesitates, but dashes down the hall and almost runs straight into the wall with the elevator button. I chuckle and wait at the door to see him get in safe. I keep the same smile and he keeps the same blush, and we make eye contact again just before the elevator closes.

I close my door and walk back to my couch, seeing Sorata has taken over again. Feeling in a good mood I say, "Okay but only for a couple hours until I start missing Ritsu again."

I sit on the floor, leaning my back against the couch and pick up my drink, "Merry Christmas to me…"


End file.
